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Archive for January, 2010

CheckUser Safety Tips, Part XIV

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Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop socking!

Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop socking!

Officially, The Wikipedia Review doesn’t condone, nor does it condemn, the use of multiple accounts on Wikipedia by the same person, for any purpose. Moreover, the author of this blog entry (that’s me!) doesn’t edit or otherwise participate at Wikipedia under any account name. Nevertheless, we’ve collected a variety of useful tips over the years; many of them are included in this forum thread. However, since I have authorship rights on this blog, I’ve included a few of my own here as well:

  • Change your underwear between sessions, since this will give you that “fresh” feeling. Also, squeeze a lemon into your underwear occasionally, for added “freshness.”
  • If you’re going to use multiple proxies in order to have your accounts appear to reside in widely-dispersed locations, be sure to have a subcutaneous GPS tracking chip implanted in your arm, so that in case things get really confusing you can find yourself later.
  • Try to remember that the term “sock puppet” doesn’t necessarily mean you should wear an actual sock over your head while you use the computer. If you forget this and place one over your head anyway, be sure the sock has a breathing hole, to avoid suffocation.
  • If you absolutely must create a “cast of characters” who are familiar to (and cooperate with) each other online, it’s usually a good idea to make one of the characters a Neanderthal caveman from 100,000 years ago, since this might lead to your being included in a GEICO commercial. Also, small talking lizard characters are good for this.
  • Don’t post a photograph of an attractive female on your Wikipedia user page and then say it’s you, even if you’re an attractive female, and even if the female actually is you. Or, if you do, use Photoshop to superimpose a cute puppy in front of the attractive female. This will serve as a warning message to potential CheckUsers: Don’t mess with me, I have a dog.
  • Avoid having your alternate accounts use phrases like “top dollar,” “rock bottom,” or “hard cheese” on talk pages. Instead, use “expensive,” “lousy,” and “dry cheddar.”
  • Before beginning your campaign, be sure to read everything on Template:Unpsychlopedia, at least twice. In particular, this article. If possible, “spam” these links to other websites as well, such as The Wikipedia Review.
  • Remember that your ability to “role-play” while online is influenced by easily-altered environmental factors, such as the genre of “now-playing” background music, available snack food/beverages, the color of sweater your dog is wearing, and the type of underwear you currently have on (see above). Also, while the human brain cannot comprehend the size of the world or its population in real terms, it’s usually able to comprehend the amount of luncheon meat in your refrigerator, and can use that information for planning future sandwich-making activities. However, once the amount of luncheon meat exceeds roughly 300 lbs., it may be time to buy a second refrigerator.
  • Since it’s important that your multiple accounts are seen as editing at different times of the day, it’s a good idea to get up and manually adjust the hands of any clocks that might be nearby before starting an editing session.
  • Civility is important, but it’s no substitute for a well-equipped, modern air force.

Needless to say, none of these tips should be used as the basis for any actual cash wager. Your results may vary, which is to say you probably won’t get any results whatsoever.


Written by The Review

January 5th, 2010 at 8:04 pm