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Somey
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I know this is probably terrible timing, but we're going to have to do some database maintenance. Basically I'm going to download a backup, do some stuff with it, and then restore it, starting about 15 minutes from the time I post this... I don't know how long the restore will take, because it's a pretty big database and it all has to be uploaded at DSL speeds, but I suspect it'll be at least an hour, maybe two. (Doubtful it'll be any more than that.)

So, if you were about to post something, it might be a good idea to write it in a local text editor for now, so you don't lose it!

Technically I wouldn't have to take the board offline for this, but any posts made during the process would be lost, and that just seems wrong somehow.
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Somey
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Hmm... I've given this some additional thought (I know, how can someone with no brain do such a thing) and I think we're going to hold off on the second attempt to fix the database until tomorrow night.

As it turns out, there are two problems - the aforementioned over-bloated spider_logs table, and also an odd bit of otherwise-harmless PHP code, stored in one of the settings tables somewhere, which is causing the restore procedure to fail. So I just have to unpack the backup, fix those things, and then repack it before restoring it. It'll take a bit longer, but hopefully nobody will mind too much...

Sheez, I dunno, maybe none of this is worth it... Still, let's assume that tomorrow night (it's about 10 PM right now where I am) we'll give this another shot, and with any luck, aftre that we'll have a nice clean packed database that can handle just about any amount of traffic the world throws at it.

By the way, did I mention that I'm an optimist...?
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