A letter to ArbCom Options

[Ottava]

Mods can move this wherever, but yeah, I copied below what I sent to ArbCom for transparency and also to answer any questions as per here.

Dear ArbCom,

Since there hasn't been any real proposals for restrictions and the rest for a possible unban, I decided that I would propose the following as conditions for my being unbanned:

1. I am prohibited from any pages except the following:
* Articles related to: John Keats, William Wordsworth, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, William Blake, Percy Bysshe Shelley, George Gordon Byron, Alfred Tennyson, Samuel Johnson, Christopher Smart, Jonathan Swift, John Milton, William Butler Yeats, T. S. Eliot, Henry Fielding, William Hazlitt, Robert Southey, Leigh Hunt, Charles Lamb, Thomas Gray, William Harrison Ainsworth, Edmund Burke, Oscar Wilde, Robert Browning, Samuel Richardson, and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
* Wikiproject Poetry, DYK, GAN, WikiCup, and FACs that are not my own. For FACs that are my own, the co-nominator will handle all responses on the FAC and interactions required.
* My own user talk page, user page, and user subspace.

2. I would have a group of people assigned directly to deal with me (but not mentors).
* Arbitrators: Carcharoth, Risker, and Rlevse.
* Ex-Arbitrators: Casliber, John Vandenberg, and Vassyana.
* Admin: George William Herbert, Iridescent, Moni3, MuZemike, NuclearWarfare, and Xeno

3. The group listed in the above are provided the ability to block me for 24 hour period for editing pages not allowed in 1 or editing in a matter unbecoming, loosely interpreted. This 24 hour block cannot be overturned.

4. The group listed above shall have the ability to serve as proxy regarding matters outside of that listed in 1 that might need a response from myself. The page User:Ottava Rima/WATCH will be reused to serve this particular function.

5. The length for the above is up to ArbCom to determine.

6. I would like the description for the block on 22:17, 24 December 2009 deletion reviewed.

[A Horse With No Name]

You take a penguin, pick it up, and say to it: “Now, listen, Mr. Penguin. I would like you to fly around the room in a circle and land on my shoulder. Okay? Let’s go!”

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud. You pick it up, dust it off, and say to it: “Now, Mr. Penguin, maybe you didn’t quite get what I said. I would like you to fly around the room in a circle and then land on my shoulder. Let’s try it again!

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud. You are getting a bit agitated, so you pick it up with a little more force and say to it: “Mr. Penguin, you are forgetting that you are a bird. Birds have wings, right? Birds have feathers, right? Wings…feathers…flight, right? Right! Now let’s see some wing action – once around the room and then land on my shoulder.”

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud. Now your cool is fraying, so you grab the bird, shaking it, and say to it: “You do understand English, yes? You’re a bird – penguins are birds! Now let’s get some flying going on here, okay?”

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud…

The tragedy is that you never see the penguin for what it is and the penguin is incapable of behaving in the manner that you desire. If the scenario plays through to its conclusion, either the penguin will die of broken bones or you will collapse in a frustration-related cardiac arrest.

[Ottava]

Am I the penguin or is ArbCom?

[GlassBeadGame]

Am I the penguin or is ArbCom?

A scientist is studying grasshoppers. He places the grasshopper on a table and shouts "jump, grasshopper, jump" the grasshopper and jumps and the scientist dutifully records the distance in his notebook. He then removes one of the grasshoppers legs, repeats the instruction and again records the distance jumped. He does this for each of the grasshoppers legs in turn. Finally coming to the sixth and last leg he repeats the instruction one last time. Nothing happens. He then records in his notebook "Upon removal of the sixth leg grasshopper becomes resistant and uncooperative. He is therefore unsuitable for further involvement in this research project."

[The Joy]

You take a penguin, pick it up, and say to it: “Now, listen, Mr. Penguin. I would like you to fly around the room in a circle and land on my shoulder. Okay? Let’s go!”

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud. You pick it up, dust it off, and say to it: “Now, Mr. Penguin, maybe you didn’t quite get what I said. I would like you to fly around the room in a circle and then land on my shoulder. Let’s try it again!

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud. You are getting a bit agitated, so you pick it up with a little more force and say to it: “Mr. Penguin, you are forgetting that you are a bird. Birds have wings, right? Birds have feathers, right? Wings…feathers…flight, right? Right! Now let’s see some wing action – once around the room and then land on my shoulder.”

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud. Now your cool is fraying, so you grab the bird, shaking it, and say to it: “You do understand English, yes? You’re a bird – penguins are birds! Now let’s get some flying going on here, okay?”

And you throw the penguin into the air and it falls to the ground with a thud…

The tragedy is that you never see the penguin for what it is and the penguin is incapable of behaving in the manner that you desire. If the scenario plays through to its conclusion, either the penguin will die of broken bones or you will collapse in a frustration-related cardiac arrest.

Could someone on Wikipedia unban Horsey and let him write WP:PENGUIN? (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/applause.gif)

Muchas gracias.

Am I the penguin or is ArbCom?

A scientist is studying grasshoppers. He places the grasshopper on a table and shouts "jump, grasshopper, jump" the grasshopper and jumps and the scientist dutifully records the distance in his notebook. He then removes one of the grasshoppers legs, repeats the instruction and again records the distance jumped. He does this for each of the grasshoppers legs in turn. Finally coming to the sixth and last leg he repeats the instruction one last time. Nothing happens. He then records in his notebook "Upon removal of the sixth leg grasshopper becomes resistant and uncooperative. He is therefore unsuitable for further involvement in this research project."

Ah, WP:GRASSHOPPER!

[A Horse With No Name]

Am I the penguin or is ArbCom?

(IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/evilgrin.gif)

[Cock-up-over-conspiracy]

Am I the penguin or is ArbCom?

"The young master is not read to leave the monastery yet."

WP:MASTERPO

[Moulton]

Hey, Jeff! I once wrote a letter to ArbCom, too.

Do you perchance recall what happened when I reproduced a verbatim copy of that letter on my talk page at Wikiversity?

"The young master is not read to leave the monastery yet."

Someone must have told that erratic penguin to go jump in the lake.

[Ottava]

Anyone notice this?

I didn't ask anyone on the list, but they were people who had mostly neutral interactions with me (or voted to ban me) with a slant towards content editors who would know how to handle my interactions when dealing with content.

I also don't see anyone who hasn't "edited in months". I could have sworn all of them were interacting with related matters to me somewhere on the WMF within the past week or so. Perhaps CHL could respond here and help me out?

And no, they aren't mentors. Their primary job would be to block me. Prison guards could be a better choice of wording, perhaps?



By the way, I just noticed I said deletion reviewed instead of delete revision. Blah.

This post has been edited by Ottava:

[Jon Awbrey]

Prison guards could be a better choice of wording, perhaps?

They don't call 'em “screws” for nuttin'

Jon (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/tongue.gif)

[Moulton]

The bugaboo is that there will be those who have no confidence that Ottava will adopt a manner of behavior appropriate for a collegial and congenial educational environment as long as he continues to be excessively argumentative, stubbornly combative, arrogantly imperious, and obnoxiously tiresome.

[Herschelkrustofsky]

This thread is shaping up as a potential support group for people who lack both self-awareness and an appreciation of irony. (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/smile.gif)

[Moulton]

This thread is shaping up as a potential support group for people who lack both self-awareness and an appreciation of irony. (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/smile.gif)

Welcome to the thread, Herschel. We're delighted you have decided to join us.

[A Horse With No Name]

I didn't ask anyone on the list, but they were people who had mostly neutral interactions with me (or voted to ban me) with a slant towards content editors who would know how to handle my interactions when dealing with content.

MZMcBride: "Ottava simply can't (or hasn't demonstrated a way to, at least) effectively contribute to the English Wikipedia."

Look who's talking!!! (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/hrmph.gif)

[A Horse With No Name]

Perhaps CHL could respond here and help me out?

I think that he is a little distracted at the moment. (What do you say that we all chip in and buy him a blender or a toaster?) (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/smile.gif)

[CharlotteWebb]

Perhaps CHL could respond here and help me out?

I think that he is a little distracted at the moment. (What do you say that we all chip in and buy him a blender or a toaster?) (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/smile.gif)

Or a coffee-pot. (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif)

[Moulton]

Abd is also about to take a comparable plunge into the Adult Swim.

[Cock-up-over-conspiracy]

They don't call 'em “screws” for nuttin'

As in "have a screw loose"?

[Ottava]

Perhaps CHL could respond here and help me out?

I think that he is a little distracted at the moment. (What do you say that we all chip in and buy him a blender or a toaster?) (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/smile.gif)

Or a coffee-pot. (IMG:smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif)

Whatever we do, it is only fitting if we rely on a collaborative approach. Also, someone needs to vandalize the item.

[Moulton]

Whatever we do, it is only fitting if we rely on a collaborative approach. Also, someone needs to vandalize the item.

What? By inscribing a Kiddush Cup with corrupted versions of their names?