QUOTE(MBisanz @ Wed 30th September 2009, 10:32pm)
QUOTE(the_undertow @ Thu 1st October 2009, 7:17am)
i'm not the same person i was 2 years ago when i came to WR with an immediate assault on what i mistakenly perceived to go on here.
my silence here and on wiki is difficult, especially having to relive the accusations of white supremacy and mental instability. Not to mention the worst, which is watching potential heads roll.
i just wanted to put it out that i am listening to every word here, and there, and simply reflecting. i'm not ignoring this board, nor the situation that i created. i am simply and patiently listening. i guess i just wanted to say hello.
Chip
Happily no one trusted me enough to let me in on the secret of who Law was (probably because I tend to frown on any socking), but I can't blame you personally for trying with the hope that you would end up being one of the large percentage of people who gets away with it by having friends in the right places/enemies in the wrong places and managing to return. It is a cat and mouse game and WP's skill level is very very poor/unwilling in the cat department. I do hope everything else is going well for you.
I didn't try to get away with it in the end. I realized that I was unethically burdening one half of WP with my identity and lying to the other half. It just took me awhile to get over the 'ends and means' mindset. I put my real name and picture on my userpage. I also wantonly told just about everyone. It was hard enough to play a persona on WP that was not me. I cannot fathom what those in real-life have to go through by acting as if they were someone else.
Obviously there was a part of me that wanted to get caught. I retired to quash the urge to out myself, but that didn't stick. As Law, I'm very detached to the moniker. As undertow, I'm Chip - with a full personality. I'm the outspoken accountant who watches soaps, has 14 tattoos and an interest in antiques, Stella Artois, and menthol cigarettes. These are not the personality traits that one may wish for their kids, but they are mine, and I alone own them. If I couldn't be me, I would just rather not be anyone else, including Law. I don't know if that makes sense.
I don't regret evading my ban. I regret burdening anyone with this information and I regret that anyone gets hurt because of my selfish justifications. I thought that telling people was a way of letting my 'friends' know that I didn't want to lie. However, I didn't realize the impossible position that I had created for them.
There is obviously much more to it (including the AC motion and why it was accepted), but these things, well I will answer them privately, but I prefer to spare this board anymore drama or attention I have brought here, especially given that I was welcomed off the bat.
This post has been edited by the_undertow: