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 How The Irish Saved Civilization, — Again !!! |
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| Milton Roe |
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Known alias of J. Random Troll
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QUOTE(Jon Awbrey @ Wed 27th January 2010, 1:40pm)  QUOTE
    The figure seated on a large boulder at the foot of a round tower was that of a broadshouldered deepchested stronglimbed frankeyed redhaired freely freckled shaggybearded widemouthed largenosed longheaded deepvoiced barekneed brawnyhanded hairylegged ruddyfaced sinewyarmed hero. From shoulder to shoulder he measured several ells and his rocklike mountainous knees were covered, as was likewise the rest of his body wherever visible, with a strong growth of tawny prickly hair in hue and toughness similar to the mountain gorse (Ulex Europeus). The widewinged nostrils, from which bristles of the same tawny hue projected, were of such capaciousness that within their cavernous obscurity the fieldlark might easily have lodged her nest. The eyes in which a tear and a smile strove ever for the mastery were of of the dimensions of a goodsized cauliflower. A powerful current of warm breath issued at regular intervals from the profound cavity of his mouth while in rhythmic resonance the loud strong hale reverberations of his formidable heart thundered rumblingly causing the ground, the summit of the lofty tower and the still loftier walls of the cave to vibrate and tremble.
—James Joyce, Ulysses
Shrek! (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/wub.gif) Okay, a red and redhaired Shrek. Trade Scots dialect for Irish. |
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| gomi |
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Member
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James Joyce Business School
Do you find it frustrating to write business letters and memos that say all that you want to say? Maybe it's time you considered a business writing course at the James Joyce Business School. James Joyce was one of the greatest writers of the Twentieth Century. Now you can use his principles to improve your own business writing. For example, the job application letter.
Dear Sir or Madam or Sodom or Whom It May Confirm:
I understand you are hiring programmers and hereby present my amplification for annoyment by your firm. As you see, I see, juicy lucy goosy poosy, I have long expedience in grammar and was medicated in the best schools and my dram is to ride underwear. On my clothes is my consomme. Please feel free.
I remain your humble serpent.
There's an application letter that's sure to be noticed! And then there's the staff memo. The James Joyce method gives you a memo that gets your employees' attention everytime.
TO: All Staff, Falstaff, Full Stuff, Fellow Stiff
FR: Vice-president Buttrick
RE: Office conditions
And so it was Wednesday I was in search of the report the report the short report on the client O'Brien and I am walking walking looking in the cubicles where ladies file their cuticles and the desks with potted plants and clippings and cartoons and by gosh yes hold on here is that report no it isn't it's an old smelly rotten cloth used to mop up spilled coke and and who is this romeo Molly has got his photo taped to her keyboard and what does she need eyeliner for it's an office it isn't a nightclub and if it is then I need a drink
The stream of consciousness style is so good for memos. And for letters to clients, too. Clients need something more than the formal letter; they need to feel that your company really cares about them.
Dear Sir:
You wrote and asked is the large size still in stock and yes I said yes it is yes and the moon set over the torrents of clouds and the sea and the sky were blue and you asked could you have it by tomorrow and yes I said yes you can yes and the sky and the sea and the sun rising in tumult and you said could I have forty-four of them and in black and yes I said yes and your eyes and my eyes and the birds flying round the end of the pier and you said could I have ten percent discount and yes I said yes take it take it yes ten percent yes I said yes yes.
The James Joyce Business School, here in Dublin, call for the brochure. Do they take credit cards? Yes they do yes they do yes yes yes.
Credit: Garrison Keillor, Prairie Home Companion
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| Jon Awbrey |
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Ï„á½° δΠμοι παθήματα μαθήματα γÎγονε
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QUOTE
From his girdle hung a row of seastones which dangled at every movement of his portentous frame and on these were graven with rude yet striking art the tribal images of many Irish heroes and heroines of antiquity, Cuchulin, Conn of hundred battles, Niall of nine hostages, Brian of Kincora, the Ardri Malachi, Art MacMurragh, Shane O'Neill, Father John Murphy, Owen Roe, Patrick Sarsfield, Red Hugh O'Donnell, Red Jim MacDermott, Soggarth Eoghan O'Growney, Michael Dwyer, Francy Higgins, Henry Joy M'Cracken, Goliath, Horace Wheatley, Thomas Conneff, Peg Woffington, the Village Blacksmith, Captain Moonlight, Captain Boycott, Dante Alighieri, Christopher Columbus, S. Fursa, S. Brendan, Marshal MacMahon, Charlemagne, Theobald Wolfe Tone, the Mother of the Maccabees, the Last of the Mohicans, the Rose of Castille, the Man for Galway, The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man in the Gap, The Woman Who Didn't, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon Bonaparte, John L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo, Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Hermit, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, the Bold Soldier Boy, Arrah na Pogue, Dick Turpin, Ludwig Beethoven, the Colleen Bawn, Waddler Healy, Angus the Culdee, Dolly Mount, Sidney Parade, Ben Howth, Valentine Greatrakes, Adam and Eve, Arthur Wellesley, Boss Croker, Herodotus, Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Queen of Sheba, Acky Nagle, Joe Nagle, Alessandro Volta, Jeremiah O'Donovan Rossa, Don Philip O'Sullivan Beare. A couched spear of acuminated granite rested by him while at his feet reposed a savage animal of the canine tribe whose stertorous gasps announced that he was sunk in uneasy slumber, a supposition confirmed by hoarse growls and spasmodic movements which his master repressed from time to time by tranquillising blows of a mighty cudgel rudely fashioned out of paleolithic stone.
—James Joyce, Ulysses
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| Milton Roe |
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Known alias of J. Random Troll
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QUOTE(Jon Awbrey @ Thu 28th January 2010, 12:14pm) QUOTE
From his girdle hung a row of seastones which dangled at every movement of his portentous frame and on these were graven with rude yet striking art the tribal images of many Irish heroes and heroines of antiquity, Cuchulin, Conn of hundred battles, Niall of nine hostages, Brian of Kincora, the Ardri Malachi, Art MacMurragh, Shane O'Neill, Father John Murphy, Owen Roe, Patrick Sarsfield, Red Hugh O'Donnell, Red Jim MacDermott, Soggarth Eoghan O'Growney, Michael Dwyer, Francy Higgins, Henry Joy M'Cracken, Goliath, Horace Wheatley, Thomas Conneff, Peg Woffington, the Village Blacksmith, Captain Moonlight, Captain Boycott, Dante Alighieri, Christopher Columbus, S. Fursa, S. Brendan, Marshal MacMahon, Charlemagne, Theobald Wolfe Tone, the Mother of the Maccabees, the Last of the Mohicans, the Rose of Castille, the Man for Galway, The Man that Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo, The Man in the Gap, The Woman Who Didn't, Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon Bonaparte, John L. Sullivan, Cleopatra, Savourneen Deelish, Julius Caesar, Paracelsus, sir Thomas Lipton, William Tell, Michelangelo, Hayes, Muhammad, the Bride of Lammermoor, Peter the Hermit, Peter the Packer, Dark Rosaleen, Patrick W. Shakespeare, Brian Confucius, Murtagh Gutenberg, Patricio Velasquez, Captain Nemo, Tristan and Isolde, the first Prince of Wales, Thomas Cook and Son, the Bold Soldier Boy, Arrah na Pogue, Dick Turpin, Ludwig Beethoven, the Colleen Bawn, Waddler Healy, Angus the Culdee, Dolly Mount, Sidney Parade, Ben Howth, Valentine Greatrakes, Adam and Eve, Arthur Wellesley, Boss Croker, Herodotus, Jack the Giantkiller, Gautama Buddha, Lady Godiva, The Lily of Killarney, Balor of the Evil Eye, the Queen of Sheba, Acky Nagle, Joe Nagle, Alessandro Volta, Jeremiah O'Donovan Rossa, Don Philip O'Sullivan Beare. A couched spear of acuminated granite rested by him while at his feet reposed a savage animal of the canine tribe whose stertorous gasps announced that he was sunk in uneasy slumber, a supposition confirmed by hoarse growls and spasmodic movements which his master repressed from time to time by tranquillising blows of a mighty cudgel rudely fashioned out of paleolithic stone.
—James Joyce, Ulysses
And the point of this is?? |
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| dtobias |
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Obsessive trolling idiot [per JzG]
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| Alison |
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Skinny Cow!
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QUOTE(CharlotteWebb @ Wed 17th March 2010, 8:22pm) QUOTE(Jon Awbrey @ Thu 18th March 2010, 3:56am) ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
♣ Happy Saint Patrick’s Day !!! ♣
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ That's the clubs suit. I did find a clover ☘ but it has only three leaves. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/ermm.gif) Not that it matters, but neither of them are the official symbol of Ireland anyways .... (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/hmmm.gif) |
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| Alison |
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Skinny Cow!
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QUOTE(CharlotteWebb @ Wed 17th March 2010, 8:38pm) QUOTE(Alison @ Thu 18th March 2010, 4:25am) Not that it matters, but neither of them are the official symbol of Ireland anyways .... (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/hmmm.gif) Not to harp on you too much but I tried &potato; and it didn't do anything. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif) |
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| Milton Roe |
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Known alias of J. Random Troll
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QUOTE(Jon Awbrey @ Wed 17th March 2010, 10:20pm)
☕
Happiness Is A Warm Guinness
Okay, it says "hot beverage", but we can pretend, can't we? Jon (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/tongue.gif) Bleah. Since Guinness-on-tap is hands down my favorite beer, I feel obligated to point out that it tastes best when cool, which is how they serve it. Not ice-cold, which is the only way one can gag down piss-yellow Bud or Miller Lite. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/yak.gif) (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/yecch.gif) |
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| Jon Awbrey |
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Ï„á½° δΠμοι παθήματα μαθήματα γÎγονε
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QUOTE(Milton Roe @ Wed 23rd June 2010, 8:27pm) QUOTE(Jon Awbrey @ Wed 17th March 2010, 10:20pm)
☕
Happiness Is A Warm Guinness
Okay, it says "hot beverage", but we can pretend, can't we? Jon (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/tongue.gif) Bleah. Since Guinness-on-tap is hands down my favorite beer, I feel obligated to point out that it tastes best when cool, which is how they serve it. So that's why it keeps coming up on me!? Jon (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/jawdrop.gif) |
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| CharlotteWebb |
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Postmaster General
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QUOTE(Moulton @ Fri 2nd July 2010, 1:55am) QUOTE(Milton Roe @ Wed 27th January 2010, 4:43pm) Shrek! (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/wub.gif) Okay, a red and redhaired Shrek. I'm partial to Killian Red, myself. But I digress. What is the significance of the heroic character being a redhead? I don't know how you can presume to discuss that question without mentioning Still Life With Woodpecker. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/hrmph.gif) |
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| Moulton |
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Anthropologist from Mars
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QUOTE(CharlotteWebb @ Thu 1st July 2010, 10:18pm) QUOTE(Moulton @ Fri 2nd July 2010, 1:55am) QUOTE(Milton Roe @ Wed 27th January 2010, 4:43pm) Shrek! (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/wub.gif) Okay, a red and redhaired Shrek. I'm partial to Killian Red, myself. But I digress.What is the significance of the heroic character being a redhead? I don't know how you can presume to discuss that question without mentioning Still Life With Woodpecker. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/hrmph.gif) What do you take me for? A Can of Beans? |
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| Jon Awbrey |
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Ï„á½° δΠμοι παθήματα μαθήματα γÎγονε
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| Herschelkrustofsky |
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Member
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| Jon Awbrey |
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Ï„á½° δΠμοι παθήματα μαθήματα γÎγονε
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QUOTE(Kato @ Tue 7th December 2010, 7:35am) QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Mon 6th December 2010, 5:43am) QUOTE(creepy LaRouche guy)
And with a resounding no, Ireland could yet again change history, and perhaps rechristianize the British.
No Thanks. You can keep your snake handlers and bible bashers, Lyndon. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif) By the way, what accent did that guy have? (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/yecch.gif) Is (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/bash.gif) “Bible Basher†(IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/bash.gif) the UK equivalent of “Bible Thumper †in the US, or something different? I guess a bit of “Who's On First†— or any old set piece turning on the overly literal pixilation of words — is fine for a spiel-spell of comic relief, in good Joysprickian fashion, but if it gets too far out of frame, I'll have to purge it to the Purgatorio of Politick and Religion. “Considerate la vostra semenza …†Jon (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/tongue.gif) |
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| Herschelkrustofsky |
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QUOTE(Kato @ Tue 7th December 2010, 4:35am) QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Mon 6th December 2010, 5:43am) QUOTE(creepy LaRouche guy) And with a resounding no, Ireland could yet again change history, and perhaps rechristianize the British. No Thanks. You can keep your snake handlers and bible bashers, Lyndon. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif) By the way, what accent did that guy have? (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/yecch.gif) Kato, you might want to get yourself checked for a condition known as irony deficiency. |
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| Kato |
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dhd
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QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Tue 7th December 2010, 3:51pm) QUOTE(Kato @ Tue 7th December 2010, 4:35am) QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Mon 6th December 2010, 5:43am) QUOTE(creepy LaRouche guy) And with a resounding no, Ireland could yet again change history, and perhaps rechristianize the British. No Thanks. You can keep your snake handlers and bible bashers, Lyndon. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif) By the way, what accent did that guy have? (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/yecch.gif) Kato, you might want to get yourself checked for a condition known as irony deficiency. Hersch, your piece began with a straight faced proclamation that during the recent Irish bail out talks, the Irish have dealt a blow to the British Empire! If you could distinguish efforts at irony from the rest of that gibberish, please do! (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/laugh.gif) |
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| Milton Roe |
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Known alias of J. Random Troll
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QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Thu 9th December 2010, 8:44am) The irony, dear friend, lies in the fact that the UK claims already to be Christian, and in fact possesses a quasi-theocracy where the monarch is also the head of an established church. Clearly the Christian thing to do, is let the Irish go fish, as happened in the potato famine. (IMG: smilys0b23ax56/default/rolleyes.gif) It beats the Cromwell treatment, at least. Though I think it's safe to say that while the Irish are in trouble, they're doing better, relative to the UK and Europe now, than they ever have in history. They just spent themselves broke with retirement and entitlement programs, like the rest of Europe. And business is bad all over. Ouch, but that can be fixed. It's not like their kids are so short of vitamin C that they just sometimes fall over and die. Which used to happen happen to the Irish not that long ago. |
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| Milton Roe |
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Known alias of J. Random Troll
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QUOTE(RMHED @ Thu 9th December 2010, 5:38pm) QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Thu 9th December 2010, 10:44pm) QUOTE(Milton Roe @ Thu 9th December 2010, 10:42am)
Though I think it's safe to say that while the Irish are in trouble, they're doing better, relative to the UK and Europe now, than they ever have in history. They just spent themselves broke with retirement and entitlement programs, like the rest of Europe.
Bear in mind that Ireland doesn't want or need a bailout. It's the banks that are bankrupt, and most of them aren't even Irish banks. The Irish are being asked to take a truly staggering cut in their standard of living in order to co-sign a bailout of foreign financiers. Banks don't really have a nationality, they are global. They are the parasites feeding off the body politic. They need to be destroyed. Oh, yeah, that's a brilliant idea. And replaced by what? |
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| RMHED |
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Ãœber Member
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QUOTE(Milton Roe @ Fri 10th December 2010, 12:49am) QUOTE(RMHED @ Thu 9th December 2010, 5:38pm) QUOTE(Herschelkrustofsky @ Thu 9th December 2010, 10:44pm) QUOTE(Milton Roe @ Thu 9th December 2010, 10:42am)
Though I think it's safe to say that while the Irish are in trouble, they're doing better, relative to the UK and Europe now, than they ever have in history. They just spent themselves broke with retirement and entitlement programs, like the rest of Europe.
Bear in mind that Ireland doesn't want or need a bailout. It's the banks that are bankrupt, and most of them aren't even Irish banks. The Irish are being asked to take a truly staggering cut in their standard of living in order to co-sign a bailout of foreign financiers. Banks don't really have a nationality, they are global. They are the parasites feeding off the body politic. They need to be destroyed. Oh, yeah, that's a brilliant idea. And replaced by what? Nothing! Yeah it's amazing aint it, a world without banks!! Oh the horror. |
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