DO NOT VOTE until you read the following blurbs.




For those newcomers who have registered during the past year, we invite you to read this history of the pageant and its hallowed traditions.

The categories in which Wikipedia admins and peons will compete are the following:

WP:DICK of Distinction, for the most appallingly corrupt performance as an Admin

The Tag-Team event

Miss Incongeniality, for the most colorful and persistent violations of WP:CIVIL

The Straight Shooter award, for honest admins

Cojones de latón, for non-admins who have displayed wit and valor in combat with the Cabal

The winner of the grand sweepstakes WP:DICK of Distinction honors will take home this magnificent memento, which we like to call "The Jimbo®":




Now, please bear with us as we explain the unnecessarily complex voting procedures:

For the WP:DICK contestants, each member of the academy may cast votes for both DICK and Runner-Up (a condition which is said to respond well to traditional antibiotics.) The DICK vote counts as 2 points, while the Runner-Up counts as one. Thus, each voter has 3 points total to distribute among the contestants. Academy members may award all three points to one contestant by voting for him or her in both categories, or split the points between two contestants. Points will be tallied from the two categories, and the contestant with the most points wins, with the 2nd Place going to the contestant with the next highest point total. Got it? The same formula used to apply to the Straight Shooter and Cojones de latón categories, but this year the Program and Catering Committee was demanding overtime pay, so we scrapped that and all categories other than DICK will be simply one vote per category.

Ready... set... VOTE!

Electioneering within 100 feet of the polling place is encouraged, so feel free to post a paean to your candidate of choice, extolling his or her exquisite qualifications and achievements

Are the pollsters aware that it appears you can vote for the same person in the Dick and Lesser Spotted Dick sections? I think that is wonderful!

The winners also are encouraged to accept their awards while walking the red carpet to the strip-tease beat of [Hey,] Big Spender, preferably as covered by somebody singing like Shirley Bassey. And WR lyrics which are inevitable:

Hey, Big Wanker

The moment you post on the board,
We can see you are a Dick of Distinctionâ„¢
(A real big wanker)
A tag-team hits “undo”.
O, if you could only know
What happ’nin’ on The Review!

So wait while we get your Award,
We don’t hand this out to all admins we see!
Hey, Reverter!
Tag this edit diff "RV... V..V..V…"

Yes, see blurbs above.

I would like to announce my decision to vote for Alison for Straight Shooter. I haven't seen many acts of real courage by any admin, and when it comes to our candidates that serve on the ArbCom, I have watched them sit impotently in the foxholes time after time as opportunities to do something really useful came and went. But I give Alison credit for one thing: she was the one who cancelled Chip Berlet's blank check. She may not even remember the occasion, but Chip's fragile ego couldn't take it, and not long thereafter he bailed, to the everlasting benefit of the project.

In the first day of voting, David Gerard has taken a commanding lead in the coveted DICK position (which may be for the best, because Somey has been on the case of the Program and Catering Committee about cost overruns for the pageant, and this way we may be able to re-use last year's cyber-engraved Jimbo® trophy.) In fact, based on early returns, it looks pretty much like a re-run of last year's voting: Gerard also leads the Miss Incongeniality event (although Cirt and Chillum are giving him a run for his money,) Cla68 has a firm grip on the Cojones, and in the Straight Shooter competition Thatcher has a narrow advantage over 2008 victor Alison. Due to the ever-shifting alliances of convenience at Wikipedia, the Tag-Team Event often holds the most surprises, but this year, the comeback team of SlimVirgin and Will Beback looks like the favorite.

All that being said, there are still many members of the Academy who have not yet dipped their avatars in the purple, so dark horses may emerge in any of these competitions. Stay tuned.

When does voting end please.

Don't lose that firm grip on the Cojones, Cla68.

Hey, arent you the returning officer? Shouldnt you make an effort to try to appear to be impartial?


As long as theyre not female or they'll distract our Horse.

I've already voted for Alison!

After two days of voting, Gerard is once again the front-running DICK. The fierce competition is for runner-up, where FT2 at 15 points is hotly pursued by Wild Bill Connolley at 14. Not much competition for Slim 'n' Will at the Tag-Team event however, but an exciting race for Miss Incongeniality where Chillum and his myriad other monikers is now neck-and-neck with Gerard. Alison has pulled ahead of Thatcher in the hotly contested Straight Shooter category, but clearly, Cla68 has Cojones in the bag.

Only because I'm stuck alphabetically at the bottom of the list, and Charles gets his big, fat "C" name up there near the top.

It's RIGGED!

I gotta say the definite article seems a bit presumptuous—you know, calling yourself the kohser as if there could not be more than one. You could change it to a kohser and achieve a position slightly above that of a nobody.





And yeah I know, you'd have to add a space or make sure Hersch uses some kind of "smart" lexi-sorting.

According to The Kohs Connection on Facebook, only Jim Kohs in Texas has ever gone by "The Kohser", and he was fine with parting with his claim on the nickname.

In the third day of voting, there are no surprises. The only real cliff-hangers are Wild Bill Connolley's hot pursuit of FT2 for the Runner-Up DICK position, and Gerard's duel with Chillum et al for Miss Incongeniality. In the other races, previous trends continue, including for Cla68, no sweat on the Cojones.

And Connolley pulls ahead! And what's this? MGodwin in hot pursuit, neck and neck with FT2! Dang, this is exciting! Meanwhile, Cla68 keeps the balls rolling in the Cojones event.

When is going to end? When was the official Pee-dia founded? Wasn't 15 January 2001 when the .com was established?

I haven't voted yet.

As a matter of interest are candidates allowed to vote?

And if so should we insist that they vote for themselves in the Dick category?


Hurry up please!

1. All persons holding accounts at the Review are entitled to vote.

2. That's a matter of personal conscience.

--the Program and Catering Committee

Holy crap! FT2 has once again squeaked ahead of Wild Bill in the DICK Runner-Up position. And Chillum et al takes the lead for Miss Incongeniality. Cla68 is hangin' in there with the Cojones.

Voting has slowed to a trickle, with FT2 in the lead for Runner-Up Dick, although he could conceivably piss away his advantage and a few more votes could give the honors to Wild Bill or to OMGodwin. The Miss Incongeniality race could end in a tie. And Cla68 is headed for a two year, seminal streak with the Cojones.

When HK runs out of "Cojones" puns, obviously.

If ya ain't banned yet, ya ain't got any.

co-Jon-es

That is basically correct, although traditionally we time the announcement of the results so as to upstage the Oscars and related prime-time awards shows.

Keeping up with the co-Jones-es!

Truly a seminal streak. I mean, you could see it with a handheld blacklight without even drawing the hotel room drapes. Cla, you should be proud, you should.

And Wild Bill pulls into the lead position for Runner-Up DICK. I've been rooting for him. Meanwhile, the members of the Academy are going nuts for Cla68 in the Cojones division.

I did not vote for myself in the cajones category, there are many candidates listed there who deserve it more than me. I voted for G-Dett, because she is such a good writer that I hope that she hasn't damaged her professional reputation or career potential through her connection with Wikipedia and her association with unethical jackasses like Jayjg. Most of those listed in the straight shooters category also deserve strong consideration. Too bad we can't have more than one. I voted for Mr. Connolley for Ms Incongeniality. He has worked really hard for that honor during his five-plus years of involvement with Wikipedia, and it would be a shame if he wasn't recognized for it. I would have suggested that Mr. Gerard be left off of the ballot this year, but then he went screaming to Daddy (MGodwin) when he was reprimanded by the ArbCom recently. Nice work David!

As far as tag team is concerned. I'm aware that Slim and Will made it abundantly clear after I posted the Eurasian Land Bridge article that they have it in for Don LaRouche. Consider, however, how impressive the team effort to control the Global Warming topic is, including defaming global warming skeptics in their BLPs, making sure that Michael Crichton's name isn't mentioned anywhere, chasing away newbies who made the mistake of trying to NPOV those articles, and ensuring that any content RfC's contrary to their positions went down in flames. I would say that their diligent efforts rival those of Jayjg's pro-Israel POV in spades, because they're still at it, while many in Jayjg's cabal have been invited to find another hobby.

The metaphor is biassed and strained in application to comparably e-quipped women candydates.

Then again, we're not talkin' belles de balles lettres here.

Jon

Actually, Slim 'n' Will's most crowd-pleasing performance was the WMF Smackdown back in August-September. But I agree on AGW team; they deserve recognition, and I nominated them. I think Wild Bill and his entourage were the most newsworthy event of 2009, although Wild Bill can't seem to contend with Dave Gerard's legions of fans.

As we head into the final week of voting, three important competitions are up for grabs: the DICK Runner-Up, where FT2 has once again squeaked in front of Wild Bill Connolley; the Miss Incongeniality event, where the ever-popular Dave Gerard leads by a hair over Chillum and his multiple IDs; and the Straight Shooter event, which has been a cliff-hanger duel between Thatcher and Alison. Due to the sterling sportsmanship of Cla68, however, the Cojones is not up for grabs.

Why oh why isn't Kevin (T-C-L-K-R-D) in the "Straight-shooter" category? Buy that man a whole crate of beer

He will be next year, I guess.

I can't quote ClaΦeet's recent remarks in Chambers, but it's obvious to me that you have Cojones confused with Bollocks.

Jon

In response, I will say that I am fresh out of Cojones puns, that Wild Bill is looking good for Runner Up Dick, and that Miss Incongeniality is still too close to call, with only days remaining in the competition.