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CNN.com - April 01, 2007 - =Wikipedia founder Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales announced today that the popular on-line encyclopedia would close its doors today, amid recent controversy. Stung by criticism from academia, the press, and its own users, Wales said that "Wikipedia has been a wonderful, noble experiment, but the time has come to move on."
Wales announced that after a period of re-tooling, Wikipedia would reemerge as a user-driven search engine, powered by a vast community of volunteers. "Wikisearch can provide a human element that Google's fancy mathematics can't touch," Wales said, adding "Our community searchers will direct to not to what you are searching for, but what you should be searching for." Early testers of the system report stunning results, though engineers are still determining why search results seem skewed toward Ayn Rand, Zionism, and pornography.
Wikipedia's closing comes after a period of intense controversy surrounding "the encyclopedia that anyone can edit". A powerful editor and site administrator was recently discovered to have faked credentials as a professor of theology, and several prominent members have recently been exposed as agents of government security services. "It is entirely reasonable for Mossad to maintain a presence on Wikipedia", claimed Mindy Lack, one of the exposed agents, "it was an essential part of our global disinformation campaign". Unnamed Capitol Hill staffers have indicated that hearings are being planned to examine the role Wikipedia played in the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the disappearance of Judge Crater, and the suspicious death of an obscure New Mexico researcher.
Despite the controversy, Wales announced a celebration in Florida today, capping Wikipedia's long reign of misinformation. "We're going to have a giant bonfire," Wales said, "right here on the beach. We've brought down boxes of paperwork from the office to get it started. There won't be anything left to subpeona."
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